you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
