Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
