lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
