It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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