I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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