i would punch a child for taco bell
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
