Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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