So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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