tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize