Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
