dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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