Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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