Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
