We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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