Do you still have your period?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Couch. On fire.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
