i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
