why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
