very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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