i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
