Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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