this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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