I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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