Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
