On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize