I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
