There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
