so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
