Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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