i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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