What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
