We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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