Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
