Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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