its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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