I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
