He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize