i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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