i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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