ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
