This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
