its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
