Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
