do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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