Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
