and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
