now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
