you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
