I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
50% drunk capacity currently
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
