Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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