drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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