I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
