Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
