I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
