i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
