Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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