I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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