I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
