i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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