I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
