Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
