Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize