so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
