My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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