Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
