thus making me awesome and them whores
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
