Whoa Z and x make the same sound
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
