I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
