One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
