Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
