he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
a search helicopter?!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
