I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Congratulations! We have a period
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