Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
