D3 body, D1 cock
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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