the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
