TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
