make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
