he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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