Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
