that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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