Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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